23

its 3.54 in the morning and this is what I've been thinking while sitting at my LOUSY office

And Just like that yet another year goes by.Looking back it wasn't all that bad...i crossed out a lot of things on my todo's list. But i suppose its human nature one can never be satisfied. Its funny in life how things pan out.

23 years is a lot of time. I cant believe people go talk about how things go pass quickly . Trust me it doesnt!.

Some times in Life your living out one story but the truth turns out be something else entirely

My todo's list needs some desperate updation..updation?...hmm i don't know if its even a word.hmmm..but it makes sense alright.so here it goes.

• Gain a few pounds ( oh God!)
• Find a better Job
  
• some how get admitted in a Master Programme( any where..i mean Anywhere)
• Get over the fact that she's gone Now!

I feel like that Doogie Houser guy. Remeber that?..hmmm

Time flies by

Times flies by..

i guess this is what she meant by it.. An old self-proclaimed 'relative' of ours showed up yesterday at our place , apparently she looked like one of those old rather clumsy looking ladies that one of my friend refers to as Papay kutni ,i never get a load of this term. Oh god where are my manners any ways this 'time-flies real fast' thing came about as soon as she made her less then melo-dramatic entrance because as soon as she saw me she said

oh look at u , you've grown! ,the last time i saw u ,u were 6 running around naked trying to grab my daughter pigtail's

Now I'm pretty much sure that i never went out on such NUDE adventure ever in my life,i was never a nudist of any sort though i can remember grabbing a few pigtail's but i am very sure that i was fully dressed then.

She further continued and said ,Waqt ko per lag gay hain

Apparently comparing time with a umm Bird?,i was really impressed by her metaphorical skills.

To further make me ponder on the time thing i came across one of old pictures of mine that i uploaded on facebook. I suddenly started comparing it with what I've grown into now.I realized its a picture of me back in the day when i was actually CUTE!. I've certainly changed,maybe I've grown a bit darker my skin has gone more 'roughed up' to an extent that i'm now referred to as the Lizard Man( Give me break man!) and perhaps I've lost that uncanny cuteness that you will see on almost every child's face.

Last week i went to the Cemetery where my Grand ma is buried, it was my first visit to that place in a long while. I remember while in one of my trips to that place i saw a grave of girl who had passed away few days ago i guess she was 13 then ,i was almost her age then too or maybe i was a few months younger i don't know, and this time around out of no where i came across that same grave. I realized that its been almost 9 years since , now i am 22 and i guess she is still 13..

Time flies by..

my Life list

I've been planning to write on this for a long time ...and well now i'm here..i am gona write my own life list. Every one should have life list i suppose. i remember taking Pyschology in my freshman year and there was an exercise on topic called "Forward think" ,where we were suppose to write a to do's list .though i never wrote it then. but i guess its better late then never .

Now a lot of the following text is inspired by 'hollywood productions'. but i guess thats the sort of person i am. i get influenced a lot.Following is the list of all those things i want to do ,or i suppose i wish i could do..

1. Get a Graduate degree (mm..somehow!)
2. Get a good job ( i guess ..subject to the fulfilment of '1').
3. Make a million dollars ( mm okay ..even a million rupee would do)
4. Laugh until I cry ( ? )
5. Be two places at once
6. Drive a BMW
7. learn to play a Guitar
8 Be a 'decent' tennis player
9. Witness a miracle
10. Do not Flunk ! ( now thats ambitious..)
11. Read the book "Conquest of Happiness"
12 Get married and have kids!

mm...nay i think i am gona re-write 12.

12. Find true joy in life.
13. Get over certain 'Fears' that i seem to living with
14. Owe a Car
15. leave the pride lands and live in a foreign country
16. Sky dive
17. Make my mom dad happy!
18. Make peace with god.
19. Kiss The Most Beautiful Girl In The World (oops!)

Now to be judgemental most of my ambitions are pretty weak . but i'll add something more strong later on i guess ,if at all these arent strong enough. i guess Our lives are streams towards whatever heaven lies in the mist beyond the falls.

Rikhsa

I was getting late, and it had started to rain too, so I decided to hire a Rikhsa. Fortunately, at the very next moment, a Rikhsa came into my view. I waved and the driver applied the brakes.

I have always found Rikhsa drivers interesting. This, in no way, means that I dream to be a Rikhsa driver. Being a taxi driver has never been there in my ambitions. But I also think that many Rikhsa drivers hadn’t dreamt of being Rikhsa drivers either. After all, how can we simply know about the troubles they might have gotten through. Nobody can come to know about the story behind a person by just looking at that person, you see. We humans are just like that. Complex machines with complex backgrounds and complex problems. And as if this much complexity is not enough, we have our complex dreams with their equally complex elucidations.

Anyway, before this entry turns into a psychological analysis of people’s realtionships with their pasts, let’s move on.

After getting inside that Rikhsa, I looked closely at the driver. He was young and quite a, well, mulla. I could see some cassette covers lying on the dashboard...mmmm Dashboard..well whatever ?, and they were all about some bayaanaat by Maulana Tariq Jamil. Also present was a book titled Faza’il-e-A’maal. The driver was in the habit of driving fast, and I really liked that since I was getting late. Also remarkable were his ‘cutting’ skills—the way he was making room between little traffic jams and leaving other cars behind (and, perhaps, creating more traffic jams. I never looked back to check.)

When I reached my destination, I pulled out a Rs. 500 note. The driver looked at me and sighed. After he arranged the change, I reached with my right hand to collect the change while giving him the note with my left hand. He stopped.

“Right hand. Always give and take with your right hand.”

A smile spread across my face. Simple and beautiful, I thought, I should have known.

good question

Time :9:00 pm

Dad:(while watching PTV khabarnama ... ) mmm Son! what have you been doing lately?

me:uh!..good question!..

Dad: forget it!

mmm...ah..what have i been doing??mmm...well i've been thinking quite a lot for a change ,contemplating on the true fact that i am a big screw-up . A friend of mine the other day said that its your luck, i suppose you make your on luck. i've made mine .haa!!!! every day i wake up sit idle, and think ..how in the blueist of hell have i screwed-up this time around...dammm! and every time i get near to an answer i sleep on it. i really dont know what i am writing now. so i rather stop writing ..eeeow

Dead?

i'm dead..if you are reading this then you are not!..Now take a moment and just enjoy the happy fact.